Spirit Of Christmas Past

I am so happy that I have some photos of Christmas past.  They bring me great joy.

I think this was five years ago and it was so enjoyable . 

I am feeling a lot better and the dark cloud that was above me has moved on . And, the sparkle of the holidays has filled that space .  Many posts that I have read have helped me to realize that many are feeling the emotional effects of how drastically our world has changed in so many ways, just as I have .  Recently I have read about the topic of Psychological Resilience and I plan to do  more studying on the subject.

This really  was a beautifully decorated tree with many ornaments that had been purchased as little remembrances of places I have traveled like a Cup and Saucer Ornament from The Fairmont Empress Tea Room, Victoria, British Columbia or a  Glockenspiel Clock Ornament from Munich, Germany or a Gold Glittered Lighthouse Ornament from the coast of Oregon or a Fuzzy White Sheep from Wales, UK.  They are all tucked in there somewhere !

 A simpler Christmas presentation.  And, certainly less time consuming in the preparation .

Holiday Greetings To All.

Mary

Do You Have A Santa Fisherman Visiting Your Tree - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - And Christmas Emotion

This cute little fella has been in my Christmas decorations storage for a very long time .  When I  choose to decorate a tree this little guy always gets a special spot.  The ornament is mechanized so that the gift box raises and lowers when a little switch is turned on.  Considering that this is quite old, it was very unique at the time of purchase .  Even though my favorite tree is usually decorated in a soft pink and gold Victorian theme,  I always find a place for this little special man .

The Holiday Season is presenting me with a HUGE CHALLENGE this year in my efforts to cherish the season that I have generally enjoyed in my adult life .  That does not mean that every year has been joyous and festive but this year has brought a different level of burdensome emotion .

This year has been so very good in so many ways but it has also been a very hard year with major decisions that I had to make by myself . Nonetheless,  the year is ending with never could have expected joys that have made my life easier but that doesn't always soothe the troubled heart that misses all my friends that have passed on and a totally disengaged family .  As I allow myself to reflect on my life an image of a very difficult and challenging life with some brief interludes of comfort and joy is portrayed before me.  Lots and lots of life experiences but most that were bitter sweet !!  

The most traumatic event of my life started in 1969  when my husband lost his very good job due to the death of his father/boss.  He had great difficulty finding employment until he found a job in the computer industry working Night Shift .  By that time I had started working as an RN at the local hospital starting work at 7AM. I had not worked in my profession following graduation 9 years earlier and now I was also the mother of two wonderful children.  Maybe you can imagine how terrified I felt working in such a high responsibility profession !  To make a long story short - my husband became involved with illegal drugs at his workplace and thereafter left us.  Total surprise.  He no longer wanted to be a husband or father.  At the age of 47 he died of complications of years of drug use .  He was found on the freeway at 3AM in the back of his pickup truck.

The emotional abuse through the years from a mostly very dysfunctional small family (mostly from my mother) has left deep scars .  But, I feel blessed that I have had the strength to pursue psychotherapy throughout the years which I cannot imagine living without .  

There is no doubt in my mind that as I have traversed this long journey with seldom a soft spot to fall on , the years are taking a toll on me .  I have come to know that I am a strong person and have worked hard to have the life I have and I know I will find the strength to find solutions to enhance the vision I currently have of my life.  

When I reach deep into my thoughts is is clear to me also  that the Current State Of Affairs Of Our Country is having a pervading negative and sometime frightening influence. I feel that I have to fill the holes in my life with positive people and activities . It is easy to say but very challenging to achieve especially with the limitations that are inherent as we age. 

Church attendance and involvement can help many but for me it is a huge beacon of hurt .  The memories including feeling that church was more important than any of my needs (as portrayed by my mother) along with being on the receiving end of prolonged sexual harassment from a 5th grade parochial school teacher and  many other dissatisfying church related experiences does not foster any warm, safe and nurturing thoughts . Many years ago when trying to attend church I would find that I did not have control over the tears that would endlessly fall down on my cheeks .  That visual is still powerful for me .  Lest that I forget the meaningful activities associated with my occasional church involvement in my adult years .

Needless to say,  My children (now adults) have suffered tremendously from their father walking away and the lack of unconditional love from family members.  And also the lack of healthy role models in their everyday life.

With all of this "Deep Thinking" I am beginning to formulate some ideas to counteract my current  mindset .  I will share with you any new approaches that I pursue in the near future . 

I am having a struggle with hitting the publish button .  It may take me a day or so !!!

The Very Best to all of you.

Mary

Who Are Demeter And Persephone

How is that for a title. Any guesses?  

These lovely pieces of garden wall art were given to me years ago by a friend who included this story of the origin and inspiration for the artist.

First of all, it is looking a lot like WINTER.   

Does that help?

Well, let me tell you the story about Demeter and Persephone. 

 "According to Greek mythology, they were goddesses who ruled over the growth and death of the earth's vegetation. 

One day, Demeter, goddess of all growing things, could not find her beloved daughter, Persephone. For nine days she searched and asked after the child, but no one had seen her.

On the 10th day, Triptolemus told how the earth opened up and a chariot drawn by black horses appeared and disappeared, the drivers face obscured but his right arm tightly clasping a struggling maiden. 

Demeter then knew that Hades, god of the underworld, had stolen Persephone, probably in collusion with his brother Zeus, ruler of the gods.

Demeter refused to return to Olympus, home of the gods, and wandered the earth, lamenting her loss and forbidding the trees to yield fruit and the fields to bear grain. Gifts and sweet-talk failed to move Demeter. Zeus was powerless to save the race of man.

Zeus sent a message to Hades, and they agreed to release Persephone if only she had not eaten the food of the dead. Persephone, though sorely tempted, had not eaten a bit from a crust of bread nor a sip of water.

Their ruse having failed, Zeus and Hades were obliged to release Persephone to her mother's arms, when a gardener appeared, claiming to have seen Persephone eat six seeds of a pomegranate plucked from Hades orchard. 

Demeter remained adamant and Hades was forced to release Persephone. Save for 3 months when she would rule with Hades as Queen of the underworld. 

It is during those 3 month that nothing grows while Demeter mourns the annual loss of her beloved daughter Persephone. 

And that is why we have WINTER." 

So, there you have it.  Just a little trivia!

What do you think your Winter is going to be like?

Mary

A Giggle For This Cold Morning

No, this isn't Ivy ! The explorer in her could do this, but never, never, never would she be willing to get dressed for the Holiday !

It took me forever to get this video onto this post.  But, I was laughing all the way .  When the cat is looking up at the end of the video, I am so reminded of Ivy when she is looking where she may jump next .  I hope you are laughing with me .

It is very cold this morning but the sun is shining brightly with clear blue skies .  However , Saturday night at about 10 PM it started to hail and by Sunday morning there was a dusting of snow on the ground !   Not far from my house, chains are required to drive in the snow covered roads even though the roads are plowed.  No snow tires like the North East .

Happy Day to You .

Mary