Have No Idea Where To Start

But let me start with a photo from the past that gives me a lot of happiness as I reflect on better times.

In full disclosure,  my body is a mess, my life is even worse, and my psyche is in the bucket !!!

I think I will first write what I had started to blog earlier this year about medical care.

I just need a DOCTOR!  Since August 2016 I have been trying to find a Family Practice Physician. My doctor left private practice (after being my doctor for 8 years) to go to work for the local VA Hospital with hopes of having better working conditions and benefits. She was a wonderful doctor and took very good care of me.   Several doctors have left this area during the past year.

I understand that there is a shortage of doctors throughout the nation. And, it is a bigger problem in the rural areas. I guess I have been spoiled in that I have always had a doctor and been able to visit them regularly as well as see specialists without much delay.

We have lost so many doctors which has created a situation whereby the current doctors are not able to take new patients because their workload is already at the maximum. I started my search for a new doctor months ago. I think it was in February.

My monthly medical insurance premium expenses are very high and here I sit without medical care.

With a few telephone calls to the two local hospitals that service my community I was able to get a list of doctors that are taking new patients. I was shocked at the names on the list. Some of them were located more than fifty miles away!  The list was of no help to me.

A few month ago I heard about a doctor who had returned to the area after 13 years working elsewhere and he might be taking new patients.  I immediately telephoned and was able to get an appointment late in August.  That was wonderful especially since my prescriptions were soon to expire!  But, it also meant that I had not had a doctor for a year unless I went to the ER.  I can't deny that it was a very stressful time. 

I like the new doctor but all is not good because as mentioned in the past, my back/spinal issues of severe back pain and burning nerve pain down to my ankle are worsening !  At my last visit on November 20 he ordered Hydrocodone/Norco, a mid strength narcotic pain medication.  I mentioned my past negative experience with narcotic pain medication. Primarily, the side effects are impossible for me to endure.  And, I certainly can not take it if I live alone !  He asked me to telephone him if I needed to.  So, I called his office on Monday of this week and said that the pain medication was not the answer and that I need to have an MRI.  The person taking the call was very curt and rushed telling me he was totally booked and may not be able to call me that day.  Two days later I called again and I was told that they had a prescription for Norco waiting for me at the office.  When I further tried to explain and wanted to talk to the doctor, I was told that the doctor was "out of the office" for two weeks.  I will not reveal to you my thoughts.  I will spare you the displeasure !  Thankfully, my next scheduled appointment is already scheduled for Monday, December 20.  Meanwhile, I am really struggling!  Sometimes/days I have such horrible pain that almost makes mobility impossible. 

Along with medical care issues,  there is so much more that I have been dealing with.  And, there has not been anyone to discuss most issues and help me!

* Appointment with an attorney to update my Will and associated documents.  Very expensive and challenging making major decisions.

* Diligently, trying to figure out how to pay for the services.  Very difficult .

* Evaluating my Medcare Medical Insurance and making important major change (more expensive, unfortunately) with change due date December 7 .  Very time consuming and confusing at times.

* Insure that I have the money to pay property taxes of $1131.00 due December 10.

* Discussing Will and numerous topics with my Granddaughter. 

* Huge decision to no longer be involved in efforts to reunite family before my death.   Daughter-in-law has not made any contact since visit.  No telephone call from anyone at Thanksgiving!  It Is What It Is !

During this time my memory has been very compromised which has greatly added to my stress, especially when in the attorney's office.  It was so difficult and embarrassing.     And, obviously,  the pain I experience is intensified with the tremendous stress experienced of late !

Lest I forget.  Ten days ago, my home security alarm went off at 4 AM.  Spare you the details. It was raining and the fierce wind blew the door that goes into the garage open.  Sheriff came to the house.

Now, are you ready for this?  I had not done laundry for weeks and needed to.  So, on Tuesday, I put a load in and checked it as the spin cycle was running.  Garage was flooding with water gushing from under the sink beside the washer .  No time to panic!  Again, long story short.  Somehow the drainage pipe that carries the water away had become dislodged and all the drain water was flooding the garage.  Have no idea how this could occur. Have not been in the garage lately.

I am happy to say that I am feeling somewhat better.  Now that the above issues are taken care of other than laundry and the wet, wet, wet garage.  I have always had a rug in my garage for added warmth ! Enough on that.

I hope I never have to experience such extensive traumatic issues at the same time, ever again.  I know I am tough but enough is enough!  I felt so close to the breaking point - whatever that may have been.   I continue to see the Psychologist every other week.  I am Very Thankful for that.

Happy Holidays. 

Mary