Mothers

I hope this special day on the calendar has been what you may have hoped for.

For many years Holidays have been unpleasant experiences for me other than when My Special Man was in my life. He made certain that he took special care of me on Mother's Day especially because following my daughter's second marriage her relationship with me changed dramatically in all regards .  It is sad how that can happen especially since we had a very close relationship and we always were in regular contact.   She never had any children and I would describe her current husband as a very selfish controlling and possessive person.  One way of describing him is to say "lots of red flags".  I really do not know if she is happy. 

And, my son has never lived nearby and spent many years living in Europe and Asia while in the Air Force Military.  If you are familiar with my blog, you may have a little insight into the complexities of his life.   And, I really do not know if he is happy with his life either.

Realizing that the many years of raising them as a single parent were some of the most difficult years of my life saddens me that they choose to alienate me .  The fact that they really did not have any healthy role models or loving supportive extended family certainly can have detrimental  effects on  children - as well as a mother .

I feel so blessed and grateful that I have come to a place in my life of acceptance of what IS and not let it take away my ability to find joy in the present while remaining receptive to any positive changes in the future .  Acceptance without expectation works for me.  And, my motherly desire for them to live a happy life can never be taken from me.

Just one comment in regards to my own Mother .  The day she left this earth,  I felt like a bird out of a cage.  I don't mean to sound harsh but it is what it is.  My young life was one of feeling very alone because of all the overly harsh  restrictions and isolation from my peers and experiences of simply "growing up".  But, I certainly learned how to clean toilets and work hard in the home until it was perfect!!  As the saying goes, if they knew better, they would do better. I hope there is truth in that saying?

I have enjoyed a very peaceful day, nurturing my cat, Ivy and playing in my garden that provides me so much joy and peace.

Blessings to All.

Mary