It Is A New Year

And, I am excited to move forward in what feels like new adventures and opportunities .

It is not that the past year was a "bad year" but it sure was a full - very full year in my life .  And, with that came tremendous gratitude beyond any expectation .  Primarily and most significantly is the BENIGN outcome of extensive diagnostics related to unusual physical symptoms which included an enlarged spleen .  It's a little difficult to revisit those months of working hard to live in the moment taking one day at a time . I am so thankful that I was given the knowledge, strength and guidance to approach all of the challenging medical tests and what seemed like endless discussion of Cancer with calm , courage and acceptance of what may be . I'm feeling well and have no idea why the multiple symptoms and enlarged spleen .

Around November I had to see a Dermatologist for a small skin lesion on my forehead that was not healing and seemed to be increasing in size . The doctor used cryotherapy liquid nitrogen on the spot and asked me to return in a couple weeks because she did not think it was anything other than a scar keloid . When I returned she said that she would have to do a shave biopsy and that it may be a skin cancer . So, again it was time for me to delve down inside and be "calm, cool and collected" .  I am very happy to tell you that I received good news when she called with the results . No Cancer !  She described it as a blocked pore .  My search revealed it to be "an asymptomatic, solitary , enlarged pore with a keratin plug and normal surrounding skin".  Additionally, I viewed a TV show describing  the same issue by a Dermatologist .  I am so fortunate with the results and the small lesion is almost healed without scarring .

I came across some interesting information on Numerology of 2020 that I thought I would share with you . What is the 2020 numerology effect on the lives of all of us ?

2020 - - - - Never before and never again in our lifetime will there be two 2s and 2 zeros in our date .

When two numbers are the same , they are considered master numbers because they have double power of the number . In mastery , the energy will have a pivotal effect in our lives and in the world .

2020 numerology focus

For 10 years we were in the decade of the " 1 " . One is all about ego, leadership and action . It is the yang energy of pushing forward your ideas . This is the time on our earth where we were asked to expand our beliefs and take the lead .

We can witness with our politics that there is much ego being thrown around .  Many belief systems have emerged to produce change. It seems as if the belief systems during this decade have been taking turns with what is right and what is wrong.

Master 2s in 2020

Now we move into the master 2s. The two is the yin — intuitive connections and sensitivity with a view of fairness. This outlook is far different from living inside of self. The two, in comparison, seeks relationship and duality. Two sides to every argument, we have the opportunity to look at the bigger picture.  We have the choice of reaching past the “I” into the “we”.

Master 0s in 2020

The master zero (0) is the magical energy of potential – that which has never happened before. It is ‘conception’ before it is fully realized— the vision of an idea or intention of what we want in our lives without its limitations.  We are in the womb anxiously waiting to be birthed.

How will you move ahead in your life with the new energy of intention and connection in all your relationships? How can you reach past the “ I ” of the ego — the “I can’t”, the “I must”, and the “I have to control”?

Instead, envision what you really want. Not how. See your vision happening and let go of imagining its form. But you have to be present in your life before anything can shift in the areas of relationships and potential.

Check out this link 2020 for more on Numerology , if interested .

Let's move forward with Love in Our Hearts for taking care of one another !

Mary

Mothers

I hope this special day on the calendar has been what you may have hoped for.

For many years Holidays have been unpleasant experiences for me other than when My Special Man was in my life. He made certain that he took special care of me on Mother's Day especially because following my daughter's second marriage her relationship with me changed dramatically in all regards .  It is sad how that can happen especially since we had a very close relationship and we always were in regular contact.   She never had any children and I would describe her current husband as a very selfish controlling and possessive person.  One way of describing him is to say "lots of red flags".  I really do not know if she is happy. 

And, my son has never lived nearby and spent many years living in Europe and Asia while in the Air Force Military.  If you are familiar with my blog, you may have a little insight into the complexities of his life.   And, I really do not know if he is happy with his life either.

Realizing that the many years of raising them as a single parent were some of the most difficult years of my life saddens me that they choose to alienate me .  The fact that they really did not have any healthy role models or loving supportive extended family certainly can have detrimental  effects on  children - as well as a mother .

I feel so blessed and grateful that I have come to a place in my life of acceptance of what IS and not let it take away my ability to find joy in the present while remaining receptive to any positive changes in the future .  Acceptance without expectation works for me.  And, my motherly desire for them to live a happy life can never be taken from me.

Just one comment in regards to my own Mother .  The day she left this earth,  I felt like a bird out of a cage.  I don't mean to sound harsh but it is what it is.  My young life was one of feeling very alone because of all the overly harsh  restrictions and isolation from my peers and experiences of simply "growing up".  But, I certainly learned how to clean toilets and work hard in the home until it was perfect!!  As the saying goes, if they knew better, they would do better. I hope there is truth in that saying?

I have enjoyed a very peaceful day, nurturing my cat, Ivy and playing in my garden that provides me so much joy and peace.

Blessings to All.

Mary 

Lots Of Troubles

I am having difficulty with my layout of my blog. For some reason some of the elements are missing on the layout and I have not been able to correct it. Along with the header, the comments element is not working.

Additionally, I have to get my health more stabilized. I have had an EKG and it is normal. For whatever that is worth. The emotional stress is the Big Elephant in my room. And, I must continue to diligently work on taming the herd. I choose to not say more. I realize that there are many many, especially women who are having huge challenges as they age. And, I pray daily that answers and remedies presents themselves.

My posts will be very sporadic for the time being. I will continue following some of your blogs because of the insight that I can gleen from some of your experiences.

God Bless you All.

Mary

ps. It looks like comments may be working again after I did some tinkering!