Beside Myself With Joy

It has been very interesting to process how wonderful my life has become !  My mind approach has changed so much in the past year and a half that I feel like a totally different person .  Living in the moment with thankfulness and openness to pleasurable new experiences, gifts (non-material) and mindful acceptance without expectation is so very different from how I have lived my long life .  I know that in the past the majority of my subconscious and conscience thoughts were focused on "survival" .  Sometimes, that meant fear and that manifested with physical and of course mental anguish ! And, I don't even think that I knew what it felt like "to relax"  -  I mean REALLY relax .  I feel a very overpowering sense of Wholeness, Comfort and Gratefulness .

May I share a very recent course of events that has truly overwhelmed me with initial response of marvel versus disbelief !  As you may recall, for about three years I have been very displeased with the lack of proper medical care .  And, recently I have started to formulate a plan to remedy the situation .  With the guidance of my Psychologist I was able to get scheduled to see a Nurse Practitioner who has had a very good reputation .  Of course there was a long waiting period . And, at my request I was given the name of a Psychiatrist who would be able to evaluate my antidepressant  medications with a focus of assisting me with the increased symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).  Even though we are having beautiful summer weather and no symptoms of SAD I would like to think that I will not have the increasing symptoms during the winters to come .

Now then.  When I contacted the Psychiatrist office (which is an hour and a half drive from here) I was told that he was no longer working at that office .

And  then.  I received a call from the office of the Nurse Practitioner office that she was going out on a medical leave for surgery and would not be able to see me .

If you recall, I mentioned that when I started this journey I was going to approach this with strong determination to obtain the proper medical care .  So - - - the next thing I did was to go to the Internet and research Psychiatrists in my area .  In full disclosure, I really did not think I would find anything that would be helpful .  But, as I persisted I came upon a name of a Psychiatrist with fifteen years experience and her private office in on Main Street of the little town that I live .  I could hardly believe it ! ! !  Additionally,  I could walk to her office - it is that close .  OK, that sounded promising !  More on this to come - - - .

When the scheduling office called about the cancellation of the appointment with the NP, they said that there was a new MD on staff that was taking new patients .  It just so happened that I very recently noticed that information in the local newspaper .  Furthermore, many years ago I had been a patient of his when he worked at the same hospital .  My experience as a patient at that time was unremarkable with no recollection of dissatisfaction . His schedule had a new patient opening in a few days and I was scheduled !  I was so happy to feel great satisfaction and optimism.

In preparation for my appointment I went through some of my medical records of the most recent and pertinent diagnostic results and I made copies for the doctor . Without going into lengthy detail I will say that I felt prepared to demand appropriate medical care !  For some reason, the old saying of  "Loaded For Bear" came to my mind!  In case you are younger than me 👵 the informal saying dates back to mid 1800's meaning "fully prepared and eager to initiate or deal with a fight, confrontation or trouble".

When I arrived at my appointment everything moved along very smoothly and to my surprise the doctor was very cordial, interactive and spent more than an hour addressing all the issues that I had . Additionally, he did a complete systems review that would in the "good ol' days" be considered an annual exam .  I even was able to finally get my tetanus vaccine shot that I have been asking for and never getting .  It is important especially since I work in my garden a lot .

I am scheduled for the CAT Scan of my abdomen for July 1 and he will do comparison studies with the previous Gastroenterology reports . He has requested the Pathology report from 2012 when two polyps were removed during a routine colonoscopy even though I was verbally told the report was normal .

A referral to the local Psychiatrist for my medication review is being made .  He is familiar and pleased with the Psychiatrist that I told him about !

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT ?  It looks like I finally have a competent Physician and his speciality is Internal Medicine . And, that is all the better .  I AM SO THANKFUL !

The garden is flourishing like I have never seen the likes of .   All the rains and some soil conditioner have certainly influenced the lovely visuals I enjoy each day .

Do you see what I see ?  I had forgotten all about the White Amaryllis .  The blooms are huge !!

 Such a stunning Rose .

And, some cheerful Nastertions and Carnations starting to bloom along the driveway .

Next time I will have more photos of the garden with all the latest plants that have started to bloom .

Happy Summer Solstice tomorrow .

Mary