"What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us." – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Showing posts with label health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label health. Show all posts

Friday, November 17, 2017

Through The Window

The beautiful fall colors are so wonderful especially when I open the dining room drapes in the morning.  The beautiful burst of color the first thing in the day is so energizing .   And, I need all the energizing I can get !  It rained most of yesterday so it is great to see the bright sunshine .

My physical pain, especially left low back with radiation down to my ankle has been horrendous for a few weeks now .  My other joints, especially my knees and shoulders have also been problematic .  In years past both shoulders have been diagnosed with partial rotator cuff  tear .  I have been able to avoid shoulder surgeries by conservative rehabilitation .  I really - really - really do not want to ever have surgery again .  Remember, I do not have anyone to help me postoperatively.  A great deal of the time I am having a lot of difficulty just walking !  I have a  medical appointment on Monday.

My reality is that friends that would and could help me have passed on .  And, you know my lack of family involment .  Recently,  I read an interesting quote that I think sums up my situation quite well .  "Old age is an island surrounded by death" .

Time to change the subject.  Yesterday , I made some very good soup .  And, that made me very happy  because for quite a long time I have had more failures (which has made me feel terrible)  in the kitchen than what I would like to admit .  And, that is far from my norm .

This is Pasta e Fagioli Soup from Allrecipes.  It was very easy, quick and flavorful.  I used what I had available and subbed small elbow macaroni for the seashell pasta.  Freshly grated parmesan cheese adds a nice additional flavor .  Cheese makes everything better - don't ya think?

And, here is a little something that also makes me VERY HAPPY  . 

The Holiday Cactus plants are loaded with buds and are starting to bloom !  I have three plants and they all look great .  Last year they hardly had any flowers for some unknown reason .  So this is great .

Hard to believe that we are at the end of another week .  Wishing a Good Weekend to all.


Friday, November 3, 2017

Taking Care Of Myself

My blogging is going to be less for a while.  I need to get to feeling better.  I'll be posting when I feel like I have something noteworthy to share with you.  You may think I have stopped blogging but I don't think that will happen.  And, if that is ever the case, I will certainly let you know by blogging.

I would like to share a recent photo of my Granddaughter and Fiance'.  Aren't they stunning?

I can't help myself.  I have to post this cute photo of these little ones again.
I sure hope to feel better by the holidays and maybe I can be with some family for holiday joy!

I hope you all enjoy the coming days and holiday activities of your choice.  And, be Safe and Happy.


Monday, July 3, 2017

When I Was 21 - - - - - A Distressful Post

In 1960 I gave birth to my first born - a precious baby boy.  

            Yes, I am a lot more transparent than any time in my seven years of blogging - for various reasons. One, is that I prefer to have the documentation and also the  "the insight"  may provide some useful information.

It was a wonderful time, happily married to a loving nicely employed man, schooling finished for the time being --- and pregnant. And what an easy and healthy pregnancy it was, without a minute of morning sickness or any prenatal complications.   When the word "Glow" is used to describe some pregnant women,   THAT was ME.  I was so happy, happy, happy!

Even though we were temporarily living an hour drive away from our "stomping grounds", we decided to have our baby at the hospital where I completed my RN Nursing Program.   Being a petite lady weighing a little over 100 pounds (before pregnancy) I was what some call   "All Baby".   When my due date came about on December 5,    no signs of a baby about to be born. I was so very ready emotionally and everything was prepared for the joyous event. Unfortunately, it was two weeks more before my water broke at 3 AM and we were on our way to the hospital. It was lovely to be greeted by a familiar smiling face at the hospital. That face belonged to one of my nursing classmates. They got me settled and LABOR was on it's way.

The contractions were getting harder and harder but it seemed like it was taking forever for the dilation numbers to move along to a higher number. There were many, many hours of fierce pain. Whatever they were doing for me in regards to pain management was NOT working. The pain was so very harsh and unbearable. Eventually, medication was administered that put me out. And, I didn't remember anything until my baby was brought to me in my room all bundled up and crying. My baby was a very unhappy baby. Not the least bit interested in nursing or being held. I was very lethargic and felt worse in ALL WAYS than I had ever felt in my life. I don't believe I can put it into words just how horrendous the experience was for me.

Now it is time for a CAVEAT. The following  information may contain TMI. You may want to shift your mind to reading this as if it is a medical informational post. Remember, this took place years ago. Procedures and philosophies have changed drastically since that time.

Unfortunately, VERY unfortunately, obstetrical forceps were used to (pull out) deliver my 8 pound, 6 ounce baby boy. My body was severely damaged and required an extensive episiotomy (a surgical cut in the muscular area between the vagina and the anus made just before delivery to enlarge the vaginal opening). Many sutures were placed and the discomfort and pain was nearly insufferable post anesthesia. There was very little helpful medical guidance. Complete relief from the stressful physical situation took more than 6 months.

I gave birth on December 20th and was discharged from the hospital on December 24th with my baby boy who seemed to be very unhappy and seemed to never stop crying. Allegedly, he was physically healthy and did not suffer any abnormalities.  My mother was with me for a week but made it very clear to us that she did not plan on being a babysitter! And, she meant it!

With trying to be as succinct as I can in telling you what my son's childhood was like, I will say. From day one, every new life experience for him was traumatic and there were hours and hours and hours of crying. He seemed to have fear of everything. Yes, of course, all available medical care was summoned to no avail. To me as a parent it seemed as though the medical professionals considered him to be "just a bad kid".  There never was baby/mother bonding.   And, life was super challenging for our little family. To this day, his behaviors, I would say, continues to be borderline in interpersonal relationships. Nothing seems to come easy for him, but he manages to get by in the margins of life.
Now, let's flash forward many years to when I was in my early 50's. I started noticing some rectal incontinence. It started around the same time as my serious back injury. So a lot was going on with me and my body. The first question was whether or not there was an association with the back surgery. Many invasive and may I say disgusting medical tests were completed at Stanford University Hospital. Some nerve evaluations along with practically every test (for down there) that you can imagine were completed during a three hour session while I was awake. That was one of the most horrible medical testing that I have ever experienced but ,   not even close to the distress of childbirth. When it was completed and I returned to the waiting room the first thing out of my mouth to my waiting friend was "I Need A Drink".   And, I hardly ever drink!

The results of the testing was a referral to a Neurological Proctologist.

Studies show that a large baby , a mother with small pelvic bones , a prolonged labor , a baby whose head is in the wrong position during labor , or the use of forceps can be associated with the development of incontinence.  Rectal Incontinence being the most difficult to manage.

But, let's try to move along regarding the difficult life my son has experienced.  Throughout his life, I have felt so very helpless.  And, he was certainly misunderstood.  After studying medical literature, speaking with many doctors and feeling profoundly happy about advancing medical science I believe that my son experienced   BRAIN INJURY   at the time of his birth. It is my thought that my presence triggers a psychological and visceral response of PAIN AND DANGER for my son! So - so tragic !!  Additionally, during his childhood he experienced a couple concussions, one when he fell from a height during playtime with friends at a very young age and he was hospitalized for two days. The other time was when he was "beat up" at school.   Terrible ! ! !

On a positive note, just think of all the football players with the current attention about concussions and blunt force to the head.  Thankfully, there is a lot more information about Brain Health!

Painfully, I tell you that many years have gone by periodically without contact with my son. Additionally, he was on foreign land many years of his military deployment. At one time I made all the arrangements to visit him in Korea.  At the last moment he "shut me out" and I cancelled the trip. Additionally, when he came to visit for my daughter's wedding, he left town the day before the event.    But the time may have come - - - along with some medical and professional psychological guidance that relationships and health for my little family may be improved before I am gone.

I pray that with knowledge, medical evaluations/treatment, new coping skills and gentle guidance that the remaining years of life for my adult children will be flowered with comfort, understanding, peace, forgiveness and excitement.

What a beautiful day we are having here in Northern California. The temperatures are very pleasant but reported to be rising to the high 90"s by the end of the week.

Happy Day To You.


Saturday, February 18, 2017

I've Been Thinking About This For A Long Time

Did I get your attention? 

Now, seriously, I have been doing my homework and I am very close to making the decision about which model to order. And, I think this is the one.

 Luxe Bidet Neo 320 - Self Cleaning Dual Nozzle 

 Hot and Cold  Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment

Available in blue or white control.

With a rating of 4.5 out of 5 by more than 1600 reviews, I think it looks like this model would be a good choice. In addition, at $63.00 plus free shipping, why not!

With my skill level I should be able to install it myself. It sounds pretty easy and straight forward.

OK now, with continued research I came upon a caveat with the above product. It has nothing to do with the product but with the style/contour of the Kohler one piece, round bowl/lid toilet that I want the bidet for. My model toilet is one of the very few models that it will not work with. When I bought the toilets at the time of remodeling I did not even consider anything other than quality and appearance.

So, anyway with further research I found a product that "most likely" will fit/work. Not surprising, it is a lot more expensive. But, I kid you not - it does everything. How many things can a toilet seat do? If I said "dance" I wouldn't be surprised if it did!

                                 BRONDELL SWASH 1000 BIDET SEAT. 

Out of all the customer reviews from various sellers that I read all of them had very high ratings. That's pretty good!

As you can see, the appearance is different in that the seat back is raised and larger. This would not be a problem for me because I would be using it in the second bathroom. As I said, It is very PRICEY. Lots of "bells and whistles". But, nothing I wouldn't always use.  I don't make these kind of decisions quickly. So, I'll probably think more about it for a few days.

There is another alternative. That would be to buy a different toilet that would work with the first bidet I researched. But, then there would also be the expense of the new toilet and a plumber and the inconvenience. As the same as the first bidet model, this model is also an easy installation and something I could do.  Both of the Bidets could be used on another toilet if I was to move.

Now, you may ask - - - WHY, am I interested in this product?     In my next post, I will give you a little background.

Hope you have a good Holiday Weekend. We are having heavy rains and snow not far away up the hill.


Friday, June 10, 2016

Report Card Of Medical Annual Wellness Visit

Medicare's name for annual physical exam. However, it also included a teaching module focused on safety and topics specific to the aging population.
My Report Card was very good. Extensive laboratory studies were completed and all were within normal range or very close. My blood pressure is behaving. Or perhaps I should say that I am behaving and trying to take better care of myself when it comes to stress!

I am very pleased, especially considering the report notes that I have sixteen problems/health issues! There is a code for every little thing. Government!!!

It is wonderful that the correct medications, taken regularly as ordered can provide good health. But, it can often taken a lot of effort on the part of the patient and especially the doctor to find the best combination.

Unfortunately, my physician is going to be leaving her current position and start working for the local VA Hospital in anticipation of better working conditions and most importantly, better benefits. I will certainly miss her after six years of very good care.

It is the weekend! Have a good one!


Sunday, June 5, 2016

Daily Garden "Fix"

Isn't she lovely? This is the first time that I have ever grown a hydrangea plant in my garden. At the end of the growing season last year I picked up a few discounted plants from "here and there". And, this was one of them. The tag said "White Hydrangea" and nothing more! And, much to my surprise she is thriving and apparently likes where she is planted. Don't you think?

The Star Jasmine is blooming in its prime and has completely covered the wire fencing. Beside the hydrangea on the left, the gladiolus are also coming up. 
It has been another very hot day in the high 90's. However, I have been able to return to my schedule of working in the garden or watering for about two hours each day. My energy level is so much better than in the past. My garden really is my therapy!


Friday, June 3, 2016

The Temperatures are HOT

Even with temperatures over 100 degrees I have a sweet little pansy that is being a "hold out". I don't think I have had a pansy that kept growing and blooming this late into the hot weather. I guess it is like the "energizer bunny".
I have been looking back and reflecting a little about my garden when I first started blogging in 2009. And I thought I would do a little flashback with some photos.

Garden Vignettes

I enjoy all the "little spots" in my garden that give it my personality. I certainly don't want to overdo it and make it look cluttered or the individual "spots" will lose their significance.

Perhaps I will let the photos speak for themselves. 

ENJOY and take a moment and relax in my garden.

I am happy to tell you that I am feeling much, much, much better!  With a lot of prayer, meditation, awareness of my thoughts and mind control I have been able to return to normal blood pressure reading with the same medication dosages as before. I will continue to be cognizant of what helps me to stay healthy.

Wishing you a Beautiful Weekend.


Wednesday, May 18, 2016

The Little Family - Health Update

My Granddaughter and her family are doing very well. Today is a Red-letter day for her. She has finished all of her tests and projects for her Bachelors Degree. As she wrote, "Graduation is next". However, I do not think she is going to the Graduation Ceremony. She has a full life and the Diploma is what is important to her.  Quite impressive considering she was taking a minimum of 12 credits each semester along with being a mommy to little ones that are both under the age of three (a couple pregnancies in there!) and being a partner to her fiance! She plans to continue her education but not at this time. But, she plans to get a job soon. In March she had her 24th birthday. I am so very proud and happy for all of them.
These photos were taken a few days ago. Getting away for a little fun.
Daddy has a "little me" and he is loving it. They are such good parents. It is a special blessing.

Update on my health. I am feeling much - much better. My body is responding to my increased medication dosage. This evening my BP (at 7:30) is 129/72 and pulse 62. And, I was able to get a lot of outdoor clean up done today. I always do the work in two hour segments so I can rest between the outdoor work. We have had a lot of wind lately which always brings down a lot of leaves and branches from the trees. Oh yes, and I hope to see the doctor on Friday. I am so thankful that I no longer feel so ill like I did during the weekend. Another special blessing.

I hope all of you are having a Fabulous Week.


Monday, May 16, 2016

Windows 10 - Roses - Health

I finally took the time a couple days ago to download Windows 10, but with some trepidation. I had read several blogs that noted that they had a lot of trouble and couldn't find their photos and other problems. I chose not to download at the beginning of the offer because I was hoping that if there were "bugs" they would have some of them worked out. I am so thankful that everything has gone well for me. Yes, it took a little time to figure out where everything is with Windows 10 and I still want to learn a little more to make sure I am doings things the easiest way.
                                        Don't ya love that photo? I can't stop laughing because it is so true.

My "White Dawn" Climbing Rose is loaded with buds and started opening this morning and by this evening there are several open roses. It is so beautiful and a very prolific bloomer that can get to 20 feet tall. I have to trim it often when it reaches the top of my fence. It is an older rose and actually was introduced about 70 years ago. It is black spot resistant and can take the hot sun as well as some shade. It has done so well in my garden. I think it likes where I have it planted. It has always looked healthy and that pleases me. Enjoy these photos I took this late afternoon.

Now, a little about my issues with my blood pressure which is called Labile Hypertension. It was a very difficult weekend. I started increasing my hypertension medications on Friday. I felt very ill and my BP readings were all over the place with the highest 205/115, but later in the same day 131/56. I have been through this roller coaster so many times. The last time was in November 2014 when MSM was ill and passing away! This evening my reading is 134/73 and of course I am feeling much better but this morning (9 AM) it was 187/107! If I had gone to the walk-in clinic during the weekend, they would have sent me to the hospital for admission. It has happened a few times in the past. I will do anything to stay out of the hospital! However, my GP will be in her office tomorrow (off today) and I will call to see if she can see me tomorrow. This is no fun! However, being a retired RN and having lived with this for so long (since age 29) helps a little bit. Through the years I have had a multitude of diagnostic tests. It may be time for more. It is always "trial and error" with medication and dosage adjustments. Needless to say, my physical activity is minimal and I am resting most of the time. This is a pretty good definition of Labile Hypertension. "Instead of physical activity, it is usually emotion stress that results in Labile Hypertension. Because of this and its volatile nature, labile hypertension is usually not as receptive to blood pressure medication as other variants of hypertension." Enough said.

Take care and always listen to your body. It can tell you a lot.


Friday, May 13, 2016

So Many Beautiful Colors

The roses have been responding to a couple warm days in the low 80's. It seems like they opened in a day or two. 
 And, the White Garden is filling in nicely.

My garden shows that I have had more time this year to work in it. That along with the great rains has really made a big difference!

The last few days I have been able to get a lot of things done here at home but  I have felt very tired and not quite right. I have not checked my blood pressure for a long time. So, I thought it would be a good idea. Unfortunately, it was elevated to 152/102. And, that did not make me very happy. I am not quite sure what is going on. It was normal in April when it was checked at the doctor's office. I have an annual physical exam with the GP in a couple weeks. In the mean time I will continue to monitor the readings. I have always had difficulty with a lot of fluctuations.

I hope you enjoyed the photos of some of the flowers in the garden. I continue to feel a lot of joy with my garden. It is such a healthy hobby!

Have a great weekend.


Saturday, March 26, 2016

Just A Little Sweet Tenderness

I do NOT know who to credit for this photo. But, I DO KNOW that it brought a much needed smile to my face. Who doesn't need a little helping hand now and then?

My back pain has been very intense and debilitating and my psyche is not much better! But, I just keep putting one foot in front of the other, the best I can. The lack of contact with others (sadly, so many have "passed on") is difficult. And lack of involved family is terribly devastating. It is somewhat the story of my life since childhood. It is just tougher as I get older and the physical body fails to respond to my tenaciousness and strong will. The horrendous grief of loosing my Precious Lily feels earth shattering. I am not asking for remedy ideas, I'm just letting you know my current reality.  Your prayers would be welcomed and appreciated.

I sincerely wish all of you a Beautiful Weekend.


Sunday, January 24, 2016

This Is Where The Water Goes And Other Things

The water that travels through my property in my "little creek" eventually ends up here in Murphys Creek and yonder. This was taken about a week ago before the last heavy rainfall in Murphys Community Park about two blocks from my home. The water at the bridge in the center of the photo looks like it is almost touching the bottom of the bridge. It happens on occasion but not for a very long time! It is wonderful to see this much water after so many years of terrible drought. Hopefully, we will get enough snow-pack up the hill so our reservoirs will benefit with a lot of water come springtime.
I am still struggling with my low back pain issues which makes me quite unhappy. The last time I saw the Consultant doctor before the holidays he recommended the undesirable (in my opinion) surgery with fusion and insertion of  "rods and screws"!!! That is a route that I never plan to take even though I have heard that recommendation many times. Throughout my nursing career and thereafter I have seen so many disasters following that procedure. Because of the length of the pathology in my lumbar-sacral spine there is a high probability that above or below the fusion the vertebral column will be stressed to the point of further herniation. I am reminded often of the surgical risk when I see a man at church that is in terrible pain and can not stand up straight and is bent forward at the waist because of a failed surgery. I have lived with this for so long and will just have to continue with stronger mind control and prayer.

The fact that I live alone and do not have a lot of outside activity (especially during winter) because of the disability ( I do not like that word) and lack of funds, it makes it more difficult to deal with the pain. I really miss My Special Man! I did go out Thursday with my little group of gals that attempt to do something different each month. We had a wonderful lunch at one of our homes and then went to the local Museum that features everything you would ever want to know about the California Gold Rush and of course about Mark Twain. The docent who guided our tour was fabulous. He was a "goldmine" (yah, that's a pun) of information. After the first 30 minutes I had to take a break and sit while the others continued. Nonetheless, it was great to see my friends and I enjoyed the outing. That was it for the remainder of the day. The couch sure looked good!
 The museum and exhibites are extensive!
This is a back pack that would have been carried by a gold miner. The barrel would be filled with dynamite and the basket on the top left could and would be filled with straw and champagne, among all things! I guess they tried to get their priorities straight.
This is a very classy funeral hearse. The feather puff balls on top indicate the age of the person being transported. The more black feathers indicate the older age. If it was a child there would be mostly white feathers. INTERESTING. There were so many interesting things that I saw and heard in the limited time I was able to participate.

I was able to go and get some groceries yesterday but I will not be able to go to church today.
The sun is shinning and it is going to be a great day.

Smiling Helps.


I Think I Got Bumped To The Bottom

I Think I Got Bumped To The Bottom
Did I do Something Wrong?

While You Weren't Looking

While You Weren't Looking
I Went Shopping - Thinking of the Holidays