It Was A Week Ago

That my dearest friend departed this world to join her dearest husband who passed at the age of 79 a little over a year ago on January 7, 2019.  She was 80 years old.

This beautiful photo was taken on December 28, 2019 prior to her attending the event of her son's sixtieth birthday and (would you believe) wedding. How nice of the family in sharing this photo that shows me the beauty of her soul.  She told me that she had a wonderful day - that her lady friends at the Care Facility had done her make-up (what a nice gesture) and she was very thankful for her power wheelchair that facilitated her getting around to enjoy all the activities .  It was a thrill for her to enjoy her son's wedding and all of its celebratory niceties .

During the past few years her physical challenges have been huge and I marvelled at her continued ability to rally following many serious events (including kidney failure , lower extremity neuropathy,  infections and a foot amputation to name a few) that easily could have been her last beautiful presence on this earth. Her heart and soul was filled with so much love and kindness for others.  Her joy was recognized by many if not all of the personnel who cared for her in whatever medical facility she was in .  Her need for personal care was extensive .  She was no longer able to get out of bed alone nor was she able to walk .  Her time was spent in bed or in her wheelchair .  But , she continued to participate in the planned activities of the Care Facilities . Impressive !

Her one and only son and family members were so very caring and supportive in this journey .  Her son went way beyond "the call of duty" in providing all necessary and more, provisions for his mother and father as they traveled their sunset years.

A few years ago I received a phone call from her son prior to my friends approaching birthday . He wanted to know if I could come to New York (I live in California) at his expense to celebrate her Birthday with her . What a thoughtful idea ! Unfortunately , I had reached the position of being a little fearful at my age of traveling alone in this current world with all the aspects of stress with navigating Air travel .

At one point her son had a chair lift installed in the two story home where they were living with him at the time .  Truly , lovely people !

Sending healing thoughts for the grief of the present time and beautiful memories to be celebrated and enjoyed throughout the coming lifetime for the family .

Mary

Very Sad Days

Written Friday - - -  Day by day my Dear Friend in New York who I met in High School is slipping away .

She has been in and out of the hospital with one very serious issue after another .  I so wish I could be with her .  Two days ago was the last time she was able to talk on the phone and I more or less was able to say goodby in the event I can't in the future . She says she is not in any pain but extremely weak and coughing continuously from the current issue of aspiration pneumonia and weak from other serious conditions that have been increasing in severity .  It really broke my heart when she said "I do not want to leave you " .  We have developed a bond like I have never experienced in my life, knowing each other inside and out with never a restriction on talking about absolutely anything .  Quite Remarkable .  And, since her husband passed a little more than a year ago and having known her from a young age has given this friendship/love an expansive dynamic !

Her son has been out of the country on a business trip and is due home on Monday .  I am certain that will be a comfort for her .

Written Tuesday - - - We were able to talk on the phone during the last two evenings which we both were very grateful . She was very alert with all of her cognitive faculties .

Tonight I received the call from my friend's son to tell me that she is moving to Palliative Care for further care .  The tears are running down my face !

Mary

My Special Relationship With My Precious Dog

           

LILITHANN - Lily was not my first dog but probably will be my last dog. Prior to her birth in November, 2005 I was of the thought that I would not be able to have another dog because I believe it is very important for us humans to seriously navigate the many questions that must be answered before consenting to the responsibilities that are inherent with having a dog or any pet.  

Considering my "sunset" station in this journey of my life, my number one concern was that the dog could live longer than me and that was a horrible thought because I would not be able to insure that a loving and responsible home would be in her future. Financial issues were also a concern but certainly not at the top of my list.

So anyway, I didn't make any active plans to get another dog. I still had my precious Calico Tabby cat, Puff who grew up with my previous wonderful Yorkshire Terrier dog, Pixie.  And the cat was fabulous comfort for me and provided lots of love for eighteen years. 

Lily and Puff

And then, as life has a way of shaping our journeys, I started reading about Cavalier King Charles Spaniel dogs. The breed was new to me and I liked everything I read about them. But, they were expensive! So, I just filed my new information in the back of my mind and proceeded with my simple stable and quiet life.

But then, quite some time later I was at the grocery store one day and saw a darling little puppy in a lady's shopping cart. I couldn't believe my eyes. It was the first time I had seen one other than the many pictures I had looked at. The lady and I chatted and yes she confirmed that it was a Cavalier! And, her comments were glowing about her experience with the breed.

Again I tucked all the new information away until one day I decided to look at the Internet to see what might be available. The standard weight of these "jewels" can be as much as 25 pounds which is more than what is best for me considering my low back injury/surgery. And, then I found that there were breeders that were providing some Cavaliers that were on the lower end of the weight scale.

AND, I think it was in February 2006, that my girl friend (who passed away 2 years ago) and I were driving to Sacramento International Airport to pick up a baby girl puppy. On our way home, my girlfriend insisted on holding her. There was no way she was going to let her stay in the crate. The puppy snuggled in her neck and nibbled on her ear lobe. It was so exciting and she was so very tiny. Yes, she is the "jewel" in the middle of the next photo. The one with her little tail in the air! You can see she is the littlest in the photo. Just the right size!

Sadly, TODAY is ONE YEAR since my Lily left for the Rainbow Bridge.

My heart is so heavy as it is every single day. I miss her more than my words can say. For various reasons we had a certain bond that is indescribable. My grief/loss is as great as it was the day she left.

It was a few days ago that I just happened to see the poem written in 1922 by Rudyard Kipling (1865 - 1936).  I would like to share it with you.

"The Power Of A Dog"  by  Rudyard Kipling

THERE is sorrow enough in the natural way

From men and women to fill our day;

And when we are certain of sorrow in store,

Why do we always arrange for more?

Brothers and Sisters, I bid you beware      

Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.

Buy a pup and your money will buy

Love unflinching that cannot lie—

Perfect passion and worship fed

By a kick in the ribs or a pat on the head.      

Nevertheless it is hardly fair

To risk your heart for a dog to tear.

When the fourteen years which Nature permits

Are closing in asthma, or tumor, or fits,

And the vet’s unspoken prescription runs      

To lethal chambers or loaded guns,

Then you will find—it’s your own affair—

But … you’ve given your heart to a dog to tear.

When the body that lived at your single will,

With its whimper of welcome, is stilled (how still!).      

When the spirit that answered your every mood

Is gone—wherever it goes—for good,

You will discover how much you care,

And will give your heart to a dog to tear.

We’ve sorrow enough in the natural way,      

When it comes to burying Christian clay.

Our loves are not given, but only lent,

At compound interest of cent per cent.

Though it is not always the case, I believe,

That the longer we’ve kept ’em, the more do we grieve:      

For, when debts are payable, right or wrong,

A short-time loan is as bad as a long—

So why in—Heaven (before we are there)

Should we give our hearts to a dog to tear?

The poem is "pretty heavy" but also some "food for thought".

But there is no way I would have wanted to do anything differently. I think the love
from our dogs/pets, even though it has a time limit, can help soothe the sorrows of
today just by us having had the love.

Please hug the ones you love and never forget your four legged "jewels".

Wishing you Well.

Mary