Moments To Ponder

It is hard to believe that it would be a week of celebration of a Sixtieth Wedding Anniversary if I had stayed married to my children's father and he had not left us .  And - - - he had lived .

Yes, this photo is in muted colors !

It is not with bitterness that I write this but more with some thoughts of sadness .  Yes, after this many years and having lived a life filled with many life experiences which included 8 years out of 10 years of married life that were the happiest years of my life until recently .

We met when he was yet a boy at age fifteen and I was a mere girl child at the age of fifteen .  We were attending the same church along with our parents .  Not an uncommon event for the times in the fifties .  He was beside my side through the years of high school and the years of my rigorous nurses training .  We truly were in love as we knew love at the time !  Following completion of my Registered Nurses training/schooling at age 19 we were married (in the church, of course) on July 5, 1959 .

We were extremely happy even though my parents weren't as happy .  No surprise there !  There certainly were no excessive funds provided for my very simple wedding .  But, we were just happy to be married !

Life was as happy as I could ever have imagined !  I passed my State Board Exams as a Registered Nurse and my husband was very busy working as a Carpenter .  We had our first child when we were 21 and the next one when we were 23 .  Prior to the birth of our second child my husband and friends were able to build a house that we were able to move into when our daughter was only six weeks old.  It was a great three bedroom, two bath house .  I was able to be a "Stay at Home Mom" and I loved it .

Life was moving along beautifully as a young family of the fifties .  We knew we were fortunate to live the life we were living . Nothing extravagant but nicely comfortable .

Photo taken in 1966 . Red Velvet Mother/Daughter Christmas dresses that I sewed .

AND THEN  - - - - -

Out of necessity , my husbands employment changed radically from outdoor carpentry to indoor NIGHT shift Computer office work .  And, I had to start working as a nurse on DAY shift . It was a very tumultuous time for us .  Very Unfortunately , before long he became involved at work with co-workers and illegal drug use .  He left us in early 1969 and he passed away at the age of 47 !

And, That Is My Story .

As we know and I have often said "Life can change in the blink of an eye" .  I could write a lot more but let's just say "That Is My Story" and I am very Thankful for the years that were very Lovingly Beautiful .

Now, let's go enjoy some Fireworks !  Are you coming with me ?

Mary

Today I AM CRANKY

For these reasons

• Medical Care system - can it get any worse
• California fires
• Computer issues

Where to start ?  The beginning - duh!   Is this an indicator of the mood around here ?

Medical Care.  I did not mention on my last post that I quickly got an appointment with the Referral Doctor  (new to the staff at our local hospital)  that I thought might be able to help me to determine if my abdominal symptoms are of any concern. The appointment was this past Wednesday.  Remember, an abdominal CAT scan with barium prep was ordered after I went to great length describing that I could not (unless emergency) do the barium prep because of my rectal incontinence!  All I wanted was to have someone listen and PAY ATTENTION to my short description of my symptoms and help me get some diagnostics if need be.

I thought the new to the area Doctor would be a good referral because two months ago when he came to the area his introduction and bio was in the local newspaper.  He is highly credentialed with a "fellowship in advanced gastroenterology in Pittsburgh, PA  and a colorectal fellowship in London, England".   He "believes wholeheartedly in the ability to treat the entire patient: mind, body and spirit".   Wow, sounds pretty good to me, for my needs.  Almost, to good to be true in this small community!

After providing my brief history of the issue he kept saying Biofeedback.  I asked what he meant and it seemed as though he was fixated for some reason on Biofeedback.  When I spoke of having a CAT scan without barium contrast he said that would not do any good .  By this time I was very annoyed and frustrated with what was beginning to sound like gibberish to me.  He was talking about only large teaching hospitals like Mayo Clinic do the surgery and the results track record is not good.   By this time I was ready to pull my hair out.  I don't think I have EVER been so outraged at a medical appointment. But, I kept the emotion to myself - inside !

Following more verbiage by him as well as myself I began to see that he thought I was seeing him for correction of rectal incontinence !!!   LISTENING would have gone a long way in expediting my medical care !   After all was said and done, I left with an order for a CAT scan with IV fluids only for the purpose of having "a baseline scan on file for comparison".  Those were his exact words and as long as I had the CAT scan order in my hand,     I WAS OUT OF THERE !!!    THANK YOU VERY MUCH !!!    The scan is scheduled for next week.

NEXT - - - The fact that a LARGE fire in So. California by Lake Elsinore was started by a man that had a dispute with a neighbor is totally unfathomable to me !  Shear Madness.  Thank goodness he has been arrested!    So far 21,473 acres have burned and there is 29 percent containment .

There are so many fires throughout the state as well as other states and Canada, also .  It is so hard to believe .  It is difficult to comprehend the impact it has and will continue to have on lives for years to come.  How can enough appreciation be expressed for the aid of the thousands of people who are part of the humanitarian effort to take care of one another ?  Many, many HEROES out there.

The unhealthy smoke is traveling far and wide.  This is the city of San Francisco skyline !

Today's newspaper reported that some of the wonderful Historic Cabins and Cow Camps have been destroyed in the Donnell Fire. That is the fire that is not far from me and is the area that I had visited The Cabin with friends many times in the past.  So Sad.

NEXT - - - Computers !  If I was an irrational women, I would be throwing it out the window and enjoy the sound of crashing window glass .  Now, wouldn't that be stupid.  So, I won't do it.  OK.

I have been having more than usual issues relating to blogger comments ,  networks and passwords .It might have something to do with my state of mind - ya think !  I am writing this on Saturday and I am not sure of when it will post !   Wow, what would I do without my exclamation mark and capitol key ?  I guess I would have to start swearing  -  not really.

Maybe,  my brain is becoming smoke infiltrated and I should stop paying attention to all media  -  AND

That's all I have to say .

Mary

Sad News Is Especially Difficult

When it is about someone who is near and dear to you.  My dear New York friend who I talk with frequently by telephone has been challenged during recent years with many complications of living with Diabetes, specifically foot ulcers. Damage to the blood vessels can occur when there is prolonged periods of hyperglycemia (high blood sugar levels) and blood circulation can be cut off and body tissue dies.

It is so difficult to even write this  - - - She developed Gangrene and her Right Foot had to be Amputated !!!   

She is in the hospital for at least another week.  My heart is feeling so very traumatized.  I am just having a difficult time processing this.  Her husband who is battling Cancer is by her side as he always has been.

I have written about my friend in the past.  We have been friends since High School.  And, if you like, you can read more at the following blog posts - Love Sent My Way and A Very Generous Surprise

Let's PRAY for them.

Mary