"What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us." – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Showing posts with label conflict resolution. Show all posts
Showing posts with label conflict resolution. Show all posts

Monday, October 30, 2017

It Was A Very Special Day

Since June of this year I have been working with a Psychologist in an effort to reunite my family following many years of conflict and disengagement with one another .  My door has always been open but life's unexpected circumstances and misunderstandings can quickly unravel a family .  Two of my previous posts found  here and  here will  give you some background .

Without going into specifics let me say that very slowly changes in attitude are happening.  During a recent conversation with my Daughter-in-law arrangements were made for her and my Granddaughter with my two Great Grandchildren to come for a visit.  My Daughter-in-law (who is a step-mom) lives in Southern California and she will drive to Central California where my Granddaughter lives and they will drive up to Northern California where I live.

AND,  IT WAS A WONDERFUL DAY!  Totally, pleasurable.  However, I was not up to taking any photos.  My physical pain level is higher than it has been in a long time.  That's a different discussion for another time.

My Granddaughter took a lot of photos and I was delighted to see  what she posted on Facebook.  She and I have always been close. And, she has always known that I am always there for her.  But this really brought tears to my eyes.

"When I was young I used to love exploring the garden surrounding my grandma’s house. She’d take me down to the creek where I’d splash and play during the hot summer days. It was truly something special to see my own kids doing these same things today"


Image may contain: 3 people, people smiling, people standing, tree, plant, child, outdoor and nature
We also went down to the Community Park which is a wonderful park with a huge children's area. They also played in the Creek with their shoes off and had fun "skipping rocks". I wanted to share this today but I'm not feeling up to par so I hope this makes sense.



Have a Great Day.

Mary

Sunday, September 3, 2017

Optimistic And Grateful But Praying For Patience


Today is a Special Day .  Since June, I have been gently trying to have a telephone conversation with my daughter-in-law in regards to my son .   For various reasons that conversation was not happening. Even though on the rare occasion there was brief telephone contact she was always cordial but stated that she did not want to talk with me while my son was home.  Two weeks ago she answered my question as to why .  According to her he was having emotional difficulty when my name was mentioned .   A very important note is that she and I have never had much communication . Therefore, she only knows about me through my son .  Three days ago I left her another message stating that my Psychologist doesn't feel she can help us if there is no communication within the family members .  That was my idea and it is so very true.   My psychologist is on vacation for one month .

This afternoon she telephoned me and we visited on the phone for one and a half hours !   It was remarkable how receptive she was with what I had to say .  We were able to discuss so many topics and she was happy to learn about my experiences with him and my opinions . She said that what I had to say answered so many questions that she has had about him.  I am blessed that she really loves him even though,  as she says, "he's a strange dude" .   The conversation was a lot for her to process and as she said, it will take some time .   At the moment she is on board to work on helping him - which really means THEM .  They have been together for 12 years and have been married for 8 years .  The years have been filled with a lot of turmoil and adversity .


After all these years, he started to see a Psychiatrist on the referral of a Primary Care Physician and has been on some medication .  He has responded to it favorably and has said that he feels so much better.  My daughter-in-law retired from employment a few months ago and they were having difficulties with adjusting and that is when he went to the doctor, after she went to her doctor .  She said that she did not say anything to him about him going to the doctor .  It was HIS initiative .


They have a lot going on in their life at this time .  They are trying to sell their house and they are in the process of upgrading a house that my son bought 17 years ago, which they will be moving into . So, she says that after they are moved she will be able to get involved fully with this journey that I am very optimistic about pursuing with the professional guidance .


If interested, take a look at my post from July 3, 2017,  When-I-Was-21- - - A Distressful Post  for a little background information.

It's a New Week and a Holiday too .  Have Fun.

Mary

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

My Love-Ums

Joy comes in many styles and places.  And, what better place to bring joy to a Daddy than visiting him at work.   Little Lady reminds me so much of her Mommy (my Granddaughter) because she seems to have a huge reservoir of smiles.   Her Mommy was always smiling even when life wasn't treating her kindly as a little girl without an involved mother!    It looks like Little Man is getting ready with his tablet to help Daddy with some of his work.  Daddy has a new job so he can use all the help he can get.


When moving to a new town as the family recently did, it is important to find the library early on.  As Mommy wrote with the next photo , "You're never too old , too wacky , too wild , to pick up a book and read to a child .  -  Dr. Seuss"    Oh , how wonderful it would be if I was close enough to read to my Love-Ums !


I pray that their childhood continues to encompass multitudes of happiness.  Healthy parenting has always taken a lot of love and certainly a lot of hard work.   The family of my Love-Ums will be moving into a newly build house in November, just in time for Christmas!   They are currently renting for a few months.

I continue to work with a Psychologist with a focus of  reuniting my little family before I die.  It is a very slow process but there certainly has been some progress. It is extremely difficult when we are possibly working with an adult with traumatic brain injury since infancy.   I am looking forward to the day when a diagnostic MRI can be accomplished and hopefully a treatment plan.  The biggest word right now is Acceptance and that can be a huge attainment.  One moment at a Time.

Even with all the worldly complexities I wish you a fulfilling and joyful week.

Mary

Saturday, July 1, 2017

There Is Going To Be A Wedding And More

In March 2018

And, this is the happy Bride-To-Be, my Granddaughter on a day recently when she shopped and found her wedding gown. I have seen a photo of her wearing the gown and it is beautiful.

And, I will show you some of their Engagement Photos.   At least, that is my understanding of what they call them even though they were officially engaged in June, 2014 in San Francisco.   So, first let's look at the 2014 photos.
And these are the recent photos next.
There lives have been so busy during the past three years and it has not been easy. Sometimes I think my Granddaughter is a  "Wonder Women".  She worked part-time, finished her education (two years) for her Bachelor's Degree and gave birth to two children and they are not twins! Because of education financing issues they waited for completion of her studies and graduation prior to marriage. She is a Stay-At-Home-Mom and they are wonderful parents. Would you say I may be a bit prejudice?  Nah!

The mechanics of living life are so very different than when I was young.  I do not know a better way to phrase those thoughts. I have quickly learned to "just roll" with the new ways and enjoy the ride. I am thrilled to be a party to any activities that my family will share with me.

As I have mentioned, I have been working with a Psychologist with a focus on repairing the  relationships with my two adult children before my journey on this earth ends. I telephoned my son's wife (daughter-in-law) and as I expected, it was good. My son has had issues since birth and hopefully todays science may be of help! His wife and I will be talking again the beginning of next week.  He is the father of my Granddaughter who is getting married.

Trust me, it is all so painful and complicated. Just like so many families. But, at least we are on our way to trying to heal. God willing and the outcome will be worth the effort. 

Over the weekend I am hoping to try to contact my daughter who in time past before her current marriage was very close to me. She may shut me down (which I fully expect), however I strongly believe her husband is the controller. The last time I saw them, he stood over me, Yelling and Screaming at me (on Thanksgiving day 3 years ago when My Special Friend was on his death bed) telling me what a terrible person he thinks I am and has always thought.  Talk about HURTFUL.  And, no one (like my daughter) came to comfort and protect me!

I parented my two preschool children as a single parent with very little support of any kind. My daughter is a Master's Degree candidate. Unfortunately, she never wrote her thesis!  And, my son is a twenty year Air Force Veteran and continues to work at an Air Force base as a civilian.

There is absolutely no contact between family members.  I'll just leave it at that!  I feel fortunate to feel strong enough to be working with what I consider to be an excellent Psychologist on this very challenging situation for me and my adult children.

Two more Daylily plants have started to bloom.
Lovely!
That's it for today.

Hope your July 4th weekend is starting with happy preparations.

Mary

Saturday, December 10, 2016

No Really - All Is Good

You can find some of the craziest pictures on this thing called the World Wide Web !!! She looks pretty upset to me . Thankfully, I did NOT get to that point with my recent  foray .

In fact , I am hopeful that the incident is a closed chapter . But , first of all I want to say it was the most bizarre and different type of scam then I have ever heard of . The specifics are to lengthy to reiterate .  Sometimes our current circumstances make us more vulnerable then usual . Thankfully, we are not talking about a lot of money - but any amount is too much . I think the only damage will be my singed pride. 

I took action by doing some homework on the matter and immediately called my bank and put a stop on any related transaction . I have been receiving emails and telephone calls from the "offender" that I did not respond to until I thoughtfully prepared an email to send. I am blogging the email that I sent to them only in the hopes that my experience may help someone.

My email said, "This email is to notify you that the payment for this transaction has been terminated . According to the Federal Trade Commission and California State Law 3-Day Right To Cancel I am within my legal rights to cancel .  Your business tactics have been misrepresentative and fraudulent . There is no way that a New Computer (two days ownership) was in need of your fraudulent services . I will not go into detail as I am aware that you have had numerous contacts/complaints from other individuals who have filed reports of displeasure about your business services . I will be diligent in surveillance of all of your activities that may have impact on my personal business  This is a final notice to you . I will not be responding to your phone calls or any emails ."

And that was that . The emails and phone calls have stopped . I am optimistic that this chapter will be closed . Time will tell .

We have been having slow pleasant rains for days . The snow levels are getting lower, that meaning closer to my elevation . But it is time that I leave the house and run some errands.

Hope your weekend will be a Pleasant one.

Mary

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